Chats about death (feat. Aditi, Olivia, and Shuge)
10:21 PM[This happened a long damn time ago; I mentioned the profile picture thing in the "Stuff I've Been Thinking About" post and decided that I might as well post my opinion on it here since I was too lazy to type it all there. Blue highlight is me in the first two. In the third one it's mostly me talking so it shouldn't matter that much. I'll highlight it now to make it clearer. By the way, sorry if any of you end up seeing this and didn't want me to post it, but I doubt it. I should probably ask but honestly though.]
holy shit it turns out that the you lie in april anime turned out to be pretty popular
man im like a mind reader
freaking gekkan shoujo and now this
but i dont really want to watch it lol
Aditi Jain
wait which one?
the shigatsu wa kimi no uso thing
the music one
Aditi Jain
ik man I went through this phase where every manga that I read turned really popular
right omg
and its so stupid cause its so hard to convince people to watch it
Aditi Jain
like suki itte ll na yo, ao haru ride, and the list goes on??
Aditi Jain
right LOL
omg but i watched the 5 min baking episodes
i was crying okay
Aditi Jain
IKR
so many sparkles
Aditi Jain
OMG
Aditi Jain
LOLLLL
Aditi Jain
THE PROFESSORS WERE SO FUNNY I WAS DYING
like please just chill
Aditi Jain
LOL IKR
its so damn weird. i still cant believe that i freaking listened to him say his damn king louis XVI beheading speech like last friday or something
and now its like i will never see him again. like it weird because im not even his friend. i didnt even care about him but now its like i still dont care about him. yet i do care but its not even really about him
do you understand
Aditi Jain
yes
Aditi Jain
it's so weird
Aditi Jain
like
its just the fact that hes gone and ill never even see him again. its basically still about me and not about him
Aditi Jain
i didn't even know him but still the depth of the fact he "died" is so wierd
ikr
Aditi Jain
like it feels really empty like there is this space that needs to be filled but it's not there
i mean i spoke to this person and now i just cant
Aditi Jain
ik
Aditi Jain
i keep on imagining how it is like this person with a goddamn future
Aditi Jain
just is gone
Aditi Jain
like
Aditi Jain
poof
Aditi Jain
he probably took the PSAT last week and he was probably taking piano classes and stuff
Aditi Jain
like man
Aditi Jain
it's all gonw
Aditi Jain
*gone
not even gonna kid myself i know i dont really care about him personally right. but i still acknowledge that he like had a future right. and he was doing all this stuff
and what was it for
Aditi Jain
it's really shocking
Aditi Jain
eactly
Aditi Jain
*exactly
Aditi Jain
I feel bad for him, no necessarily his value in my life
Aditi Jain
*not
it kinda cements that like we really arent living for anything and the only reason we are even doing anything is to enjoy stuff. but its just WEIRD like WHY
Aditi Jain
ikr
Aditi Jain
he's gone
Aditi Jain
like dead
Aditi Jain
not sick and just staying home
Aditi Jain
he didn't transfer schools
ikr literally even if you wanted to see huim
Aditi Jain
he's fucking dead
you cant
there is no money you can pay
Aditi Jain
exactly
his parents though
Aditi Jain
like it's so surreal
Aditi Jain
i know right I can't even imagine what they are going through
literally his parents lived their entire lives having him there
and now just not
Aditi Jain
and now they can't even see him
sent off to school and never come back
Aditi Jain
it;s not like he went off to college or anything
Aditi Jain
heck he didn't even make it to college
just a regular school day
Aditi Jain
that's so damn depressing
like you go to school every day
and just suddenly
you dont even think about it
Aditi Jain
i know right
Aditi Jain
he's not coming home
you know in those animes where the child always says like have a safe trip to their parents when they leave for work
Aditi Jain
AND THEY DONT COME BACK
and then the one day they dont say it their parents die
Aditi Jain
LIKE THAT NEVER HIT ME HARD
so its like why didnt i say it
Aditi Jain
BUT THIS JUST HITS HOME SO HARD
Aditi Jain
i didn't even know the guy like imagine if his parents didn't even get to see him that morning like he left by himself, or they fought about something stupid the day before
Aditi Jain
it's so surreal man
its weird because even before this. every time i exit the car im always like thinking i should say oh drive safe. but its weird so i never say it. and im just thinking as i walk to school like omg. what if that was literally the last time i see my dad
like what if i said it and it wouldnt have happened
Aditi Jain
i know like it's just one morning
Aditi Jain
like wake up, dress up, and just like any other morning but what if you're just gone
Aditi Jain
you never knoe
ikr
Aditi Jain
*know
i could just die right now
and like stop replying to you
and you would never know
did i go take a shower?
did my computer shut down
Aditi Jain
i know that's so damn scary
ughhh life is so weird
Aditi Jain
like what if this is the last shit I say to you that's so damn scary
ikr
Aditi Jain
I know it's so delicate
Aditi Jain
like it was gone in a millisecond
i mean we think about this philosophical shit all the time. but now that somethings actually happened near us
its like mann
Aditi Jain
i swear ugh
like the girl i was talking about lillian
Aditi Jain
? who
the one who yesterday was like what if its ethan
cause we knew he has 1st free
Aditi Jain
oh yeah
and bikes to school
but we didnt actually think it was him
and she was like
omg because
the last time i met him
he was mad at me for taking the topic he wanted for the history project
Aditi Jain
wow
actually no i think she may have been mad at him for taking the topic
idk
either way
Aditi Jain
that's so weird
that was like the last time
Aditi Jain
like thats so damn weird
but we didnt think it would actually be him
like a bunch of people bike to school right
Aditi Jain
yeah
and you always assume "oh its probably not me"
or "i probably dont know them"
Aditi Jain
I know because it feels like it couldnt be him like he can't die I KNOW him
IKR man its just weird 100%
Aditi Jain
exactly it always happens to someone else and we don't realize it happens to everyone
Aditi Jain
it's so weird
Aditi Jain
can't even deal with that
ikr
we have this weird mindset like for example im thinking
oh theres no way ill get ebola
theres no way rasika will get ebola
all this shit
i mean it is improbable but its not impossible right
Aditi Jain
right but there are real people out there getting ebola
but i feel like death is even more likely for us than ebola
i could trip going down the stairs. im actually surprised i havent fallen down the stairs yet after all the times ive gone down them
Aditi Jain
i know
Aditi Jain
like although we are always like
Aditi Jain
"just chill you aren't going to fall off the stairs"
Aditi Jain
like I can tho???
Aditi Jain
I can die??
RIGHT? i mean holy shit
Aditi Jain
I am a human being that can DIE that's so weird
i literally just move my hand an inch and i can kill like 10 people with a domino effect down the stairs
Aditi Jain
i swear it sounds stpid but what the fuck???? People can die??? It's like it's just hitting us
im cutting fruit and your washing the dishes boom stab in the throat
like what
its not even just hitting us. we know. its just that we forget so easily
Aditi Jain
dude so you know there is this kpop star that suffers from depression because someone she was playing dies during a soccer game she was in,and at first I thought that was a ridiculous reason to have depression like she barely knew that girl, but I kind of understand now
like we have this conversation and tomorrow we probably wont even care that much anymore
Aditi Jain
this can hit hard
Aditi Jain
but you are right we will probably just forget tomorrow
because its so hard to imagine yourself in the position
its like well i didnt die
and we know we COULD die
but we are so used to just living
Aditi Jain
i know
Aditi Jain
we are so young it doesn't even occur to us that we could die at any moment, people don't only die of old age
ikr people dont only die of disease cancer old age
you could literally die at any time
we are so weak
so we build all this stuff and make all these rules
just so we can live
Aditi Jain
but it doesn't even matter??? People never obey the rules bc they are like "oh I can;t die from not wear a seat belt it won't happen to ME, only to someone else"
exactly man
Aditi Jain
but like yess?? you can die?? what that is so weird
like i do it so often just lol no seatbelt whatever
i just wont wear it this one time
its not like ill die. i mean its just once
Aditi Jain
sorry I'm falling sick I'm making so many mistakes while typing
really i cant tell lol
youre sick?
with the cold?
Aditi Jain
yeah I'm falling sick again
are you gonna come to school tomorrow
Aditi Jain
probably, I mig skip like spanish and come for math and SS
Aditi Jain
*might
oh okay
Aditi Jain
man I'm so weirded out
idk man. i asked shuge once like would you care if someone random died
like at your school or something
Aditi Jain
mhmm
and she said yes of course
and thats fine
but im thinking like would i care
Aditi Jain
same that's what I would have thought too I never really thought I would care that much
i mean i dont think i would though. i mean its sad. and i feel bad for all the people that care about him. but is that really caring about the one who died
because if i died
i wouldnt be sad about it right
because id be dead
but the people who cared about me would be the ones who were sad
Aditi Jain
yeah
idk. i cant really say i dont care that he died. but im not sure if im legitly sad that he did.
lol that sounds really shitty but do you see what im getting at
Aditi Jain
maybe it's just the reality of it that's saddening
Aditi Jain
yeah
yeah probably
woah i see the wave of cover photos
Aditi Jain
yeah the tino cares
Aditi Jain
man like I don't get that shit
Aditi Jain
i feel like people are just doing that for likes
i dont know what to think of it
Aditi Jain
and personally I don't find that type of mourning very helpful
Aditi Jain
maybe it's just me
because i know there are people who do it because they do care. but i know some people do it to follow the crowd. like less of i do care and more of i know i SHOULD care
you know. like when someone dies you wouldnt say oh lol that sucks i really give 0 shits
Aditi Jain
exactly
so i think the cover/profiles are kind of like half authentic?? for most people
Aditi Jain
right but the problem is that type of "mourning" isn't my style, I prefer to think it out and talk about it
yeah
Aditi Jain
I personally don't feel like it's a good Idea
Aditi Jain
something like this is very personal, not something that needs to be broadcasted so people can see "oh I give a shit"
it kinda feels like the releasing the guilt off yourself
Aditi Jain
yeah
like im not a douchebag i care that someone died
but i suppose the common thought would be that you should care when someone dies regardless so why do you find the need to broadcast that you do
Aditi Jain
exactly but it's just something people are doing to show YEAH YEAH I CARE!! ME ME ME HERE!! I CARE!!
Aditi Jain
that's how I see it
Aditi Jain
i guess so
yeah thats what im saying
like why do you have the need to show everyone that you care
Aditi Jain
you can see it both ways I guess it depends on how you feel about the problem
Aditi Jain
exactly it should be normal that you care
yeah and then its weird for me because like as i said earlier
i think it would be kinda fake for me to say i care
because i didnt even know him
Aditi Jain
exactly
its like i dont care about you until youre dead
Aditi Jain
I think that what I'm doing now is exactly how I should be dealing with this, regardless of whether I look "shallow"
Aditi Jain
yeah
Aditi Jain
it's like that Rajvi thing
like you said i feel like its more of i care about the general loss of your opportunities and those who truly care for you but i cant say i care about you personally
so in that way i guess it makes sense. but there are just many sides
Aditi Jain
exactly that is the truth
the word "care" is just very broad
Aditi Jain
yes
man why cant our essays be one these topics
Aditi Jain
dude there is this one guy who just broadcasted what we just said
Aditi Jain
I know right LOL this is the deep stuff
for real man
Aditi Jain
and then there are people like this:
Aditi Jain
Aditi Jain
...
HAHA
Aditi Jain
but cmon is this really a joking matter...............
Aditi Jain
omg man the life people are living though
Aditi Jain
this is what minho said
Aditi Jain
yeah i know right
basically
i wonder if i would be happy if someone i hated died
like forget just being sad or neutral or whatever
Aditi Jain
i know
Aditi Jain
I wonder how that would feel
like i would think itd be like YAYYY
but its like
Aditi Jain
like how do murderers feel?
wait would it really
Aditi Jain
do they feel good? they just took a alife?
Aditi Jain
it's so weird
im not sure about people who just kill with no motive
but maybe people who kill for revenge
like in their minds
Aditi Jain
maybe yeah
that person didnt deserve to live right
Aditi Jain
like how we feel now
Aditi Jain
they don't truly care
Aditi Jain
although it's that feeling that they should care
Aditi Jain
maybe just the weight of the death carries on
yeah
Aditi Jain
but not actual "care" for the person
hey what is the exact reason for the idea that murder with motive is wrong
i mean assuming that the person killed was an actual douchebag that just like ruined the killers life or something
Aditi Jain
yeah
Aditi Jain
well
Aditi Jain
i don't know
i suppose its like ill kill this person because i dont care what happens to myself anymore since he already took everything away from me
Aditi Jain
right
so like if im going down im taking you with me kind of thing
Aditi Jain
yeah exactly
kind of like when we said what if we only had a day to live
and we could literally just go and kill everyone we hated
and it wouldnt even matter. because assuming we only give a shit about ourselves, the only thing that lives on is the memories of the people still alive
so like maybe my parents would hate me after my death. and the parents of those we killed would hate us. but why does that matter if we are already dead
Aditi Jain
there is this really interesting quote “In the end, people will only shed tears for themselves... even if it seems like they're crying for someone else, people only cry because they imagine the pain that someone else is feeling”
omg exactly
Aditi Jain
I have been thinking about this all day
like its always like omg what if that happened to me
Aditi Jain
right exactly
Aditi Jain
I actually read this in a manga yesterday LOL but it's so true
Aditi Jain
like woah what the hell
thats how humans feel empathy right. like relation to self
Aditi Jain
mhmm
Aditi Jain
it's so true to the situation I was thinking about it the whole day
i think i think in this way because i believe in like the hobbesian view on human nature lol
Aditi Jain
yeah
Aditi Jain
haha
which is why i think its weird to do the profile thing
Aditi Jain
exactly
because i know that im selfish. but i guess i cant really know for sure if all people are selfish
Aditi Jain
mhmm
Aditi Jain
dude we could totally write an essay about this we even have a quote
ikr omg
so much analysis
Aditi Jain
LOL ikr
another example is during lunch
you werent here
but dhanya just said like offhandedly oh i wish we got the day off because of this
and i was thinking like man
we truly do end up only giving a shit about ourselves
Aditi Jain
exactly
someone dies and its like lol i hope we get the day off
Aditi Jain
it's so weird
Aditi Jain
it's so selfish but it's........... like normal?
like we arent consciously disregarding him
its more like why cant i be selfish
because on the base level, literally this persons death doesnt affect me at all
Aditi Jain
right
Aditi Jain
i g2g man
Aditi Jain
cyu tmr
k
what's your opinion on the profile/cover photo changing thing. because me and aditi were having a hella intense chat about it
Once a matador thing is hella stupid
Like "even if you're dead u can't escape"
No point
aditi thinks its complete bullshit and im siding mostly with aditi
Why doesn't it just say rest in peace or something
exactly like first of all do you really care though
Exactly like what are the chances you knew this guy
And also like
If his family is on FB
It's contstantly reminding them of his death
did you even know this person. i feel like people dont really even care about him personally. its just like "sad" for his lost opportunities and all the people that truly care about him
but its like what
People say that about everything
isnt it still about yourself though
Like the football players that raped the irks
Girls
Ooh their foptball career lost potential
I do feel bad for the family tho
And the guy that hit him has to live with knowing he killed a teenager
Like how do you live with that
yeah and the thing is why do people find the need to broadcast to the world that they "care". shouldnt it be a given that you feel bad.
exactly i hear people going like ohh it was obviously a hit and run like how do not notice
Exactly it's kind of like trying to prove you're a caring person
About making yourself look better
i mean maybe it was a hit and run. but what if it wasnt. like do you realize that this person is still alive and what about his life
Did they even read the article he had no idea he hit someone
Like witnesses followed him so he stopped like why are people following me
people are mostly saying oh how do you not notice you hit someone isnt there an impact
man it was a truck
It was a giant ass truck and a tiny biker
exactly
It's all bullshit so i just hope his family is coping and the truck guy is mentally stable
basically
ugh who even thinks those profiles are a good idea
Also yours are ugly as fuck ngl
aditi is literally 100% done like wtf is this bullshit this is not how i think mourning happens
They are having a vigil though
yeah i know
Which sounds badass
Idk what you do at a vigil
candle lighting?
Oh really
Boring
im not sure
i prob wont go though
honestly people die all the time
and it wasnt a painful death or anything
because it feels weird. i mean he was in my class but like on the base level i dont care because it doesnt affect me. many of these people will probably just forget
Like that girl at Saratoga everyone totally forgot
After someone dies everyone is their best friend
i mean that sounds hella shitty but i think it would be stupid to say i care if i dont really. as you said i feel bad for his parents but its not really feeling bad for the person himself
especially since this person was really quiet. and so today in history we changed seats and the girl next to me was like: i cant even remember how he looks like. and the only reason i remember is because i was in my table group
I guess I feel the same way and its not like im going to stop biking or something
it kind of feels like i only care about you once youre dead
Exactly
Like using death for attention= no is like the summary here
yeah
its really weird that parents are going like omg i will never let you bike again. i meanwhat???? car crashes happen everyday so why are you still driving
literally this guys mom disassembled his bike and threw it away
chill
W h a t
Has she read car crash statistics
And the people that drive like "you could be kidnapped"
Like 200x more likely to die in a car crash than be kidnapped
ikr and what is with this "you could"
well yeah i could also die right now
i could fall off the couch being lazy and hit my head on the edge of a table
Exactly why live in fear like
There is no point
yeah
#tinocares
i see
tinos wearing purple and gold tmr
btw whats the purpose
of the mv care profie picture
Shuge
•
20 mins
i dont really see the point of any of them
20 mins
its like even if you do it
you're not really changing anything
so idk
Shuge
•
20 mins
why is there such a need to broadcast that you care
20 mins
are you actually taking action to commemorate him
like most people don't even know him
Shuge
•
20 mins
shouldnt it kind of be a given
yeah and olivia made the point like what if his parents are on facebook
like you are constantly reminding them
as if they dont already know
and i feel its kind of undermining what those who truly care feel
because many of these people dont even know him and didnt even care about him personally right
so its like yo i only care once youre already dead
18 mins
#yoco (you only care once)
Shuge
•
18 mins
i mean of course its like you feel bad for his parents and i even feel bad for the truck driver
but i dont understand how people can whole heartedly say they care
when im pretty sure they dont
okay care is hard to define
i mean if you hate someone you techincally care about them
its just that care usually has a positive connotation
so i suppose i do care that he died, but i cant say im really sad about it. because to be honest im just going to continue life and many of these people are just going to mainly forget it soon
idk if you ended up reading the chat
but there was an example i made
like today at lunch dhanya said that oh i was wishing we had the day off because of this
and i was just like damn we really do end up ultimately caring about ourselves
but its not like im berating her for it
because i think im like that to. maybe not everyone is and im being unfair by saying this
but its like why should i be super depressed and it. he is dead and there is nothing we can do about it. in short it really sucks.
now im also not saying that everyone who changed their profile and stuff are horrible people
like im sure many people just followed the wave without ill will
but i just done really agree with it and i suppose many people didnt really think about the situation as much
isnt it weird
people die all the time
but since he happens to go to our school or goes to a school near us
even if youve never even seen his face and he might as well have been any other kid who died 20 states away
suddenly everyone "cares"
its not wrong to care but i feel like if i truly cared for someone who died
and i saw all of this
i would feel like why are you doing this. you didnt even know him like i did. you were in the same class as him and cant even remember his face so dont try broadcasting to everyone that you "care" because if you call that caring then i must be god
im not saying its wrong to mourn a fellow students death, i just dont think people should just thoughtlessly change their profile picture
7 mins
I see
Shuge
•
6 mins
okay im done ranting about all this
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