25 August 2017

Decided to reach out to Pallavi just now after debating for a while. I'm so bad at these things. It seems to have gone well so far, but I'm not really sure how it'll play out. I think we'll be meeting for an event tomorrow, hopefully I leave an okay impression and this situation doesn't turn out to be Swetha 2.0 and I end up crying even more. She definitely seems nice but I'm not sure if she'd want to be my friend or if we'll just end up as acquaintances. Everything is worrying me. I already have a random physics prelecture I need to do before classes start but I'm so stressed that I'm just sitting here trying to pull myself together. I really need things to go well.

Should I be myself? Myself is kind of shady. I can't act like myself with people I don't already know well. Well I can but it's a little much. I don't know. It's like people always act differently in different situations, that's normal, but do I want to be a watered down version of me when trying to find long term friends? Why am I even worrying so much already.