22 February 2016

Okay so just an update on this post even though it was only like three posts ago, but it turns out Aditi wasn't really mad at me, or at least I don't think she was. She just left her charger at my house, so she couldn't reply to any of my texts since her phone was dead. On the other hand, Dhanya was volunteering, so that's why she didn't reply either. So we ended up chatting on Facebook that night to discuss the San Francisco trip. Well, Dhanya ended up saying she couldn't go because her mom had just planned some dinner with some important people, and she (her mom) was also in a bad mood. I honestly don't know why I was disappointed seeing as though Dhanya and Chung Min rarely end up being able to go. I actually don't think, out of the many times I've been to San Francisco with Aditi, either of the two had ever come with us. So I asked Aditi if she wanted to just go with me, but she said she was tired, and the only reason she was still going to go in the first place was that we had planned the trip together in advance, and it would have been a good way to discuss all our troubles. I don't really voice many of my troubles—mostly because I don't have many—so there wouldn't be as much of a pressing reason for just the two of us to go. We've already been to San Francisco together so many times anyway. Still, I was kind of sad since I really like having fun trips, even if I'm tired. Anyway, since it ended up being just us two (again), we decided to hold off on the trip until the next break in April. Though I'm not too sure about that either since AP tests are right after that break. Don't know how it's all going to work out in the end.

School started today, and I feel like dying as usual. This morning, Dhanya texted me and Aditi in the group text saying, "Ugh somebody kill me before I have to go to hell once again". I just replied saying "same", but Aditi was just like, "You can't kill someone that's already dead." That is literally me everyday though. My entire existence is the lyrics to Evanescence's Wake Me Up Inside. Where's the lie. There is none.

On a side note, I was using gmail's email lookup feature where you can look up all the emails you've ever created that is using your main email as a recovery email (in my case, it would be elainetraps15@gmail.com). I actually could not believe. I mean I remember making this email at one point, and now that I think about it, I think it was in response to some other girl's emo ass email address. Like I thought it was cool or something, so I made one too. It's Watch.Me.Forget.About.You@gmail.com. I know. Real classy. Those were dark times, not gonna lie. Feel free to email me there; just don't expect a reply.

I just looked through my contacts to find the girl I based my email off of since all I remembered was that her name is Jenny, but there's like 3000 Jennys. I think she moved to Texas in fifth grade or something. Anyway, I distinctly remember that there was hella strange drama with her and my back-then friend, Justin Lee. It's weird, in elementary school, I was literally close friends/kinda friends with all the to-be popular kids like Maggie Yao, Justin Lee, Kelly Kim, Grace Moon, etc. etc. But all those friendships sort of seemed to just disappear one day. Although I'd like to think that I could still chat up Maggie any time and get a chill response. It's hard to believe everything we'd ever experience would just mean nothing. Enough on that though; I've already mulled on about how sad I get when I think of her way too many times to count. But I digress. Basically, this Jenny (Sui)'s email was/is cant.hear.me.scream.xx@gmail.com. I had decided that that was the coolest shit I'd ever seen, and so came my shitty rip off. I remember actually sitting there trying out new combinations to get one that wasn't taken and still sounded "hip" to me. Man. I never really thought I went through the emo stage, but maybe I did for just those few minutes. The thing is, I don't think I used that email for anything. Not even to sign up for random NeoPets or Gaia accounts. I just made it and left it. Kind of like a lot of people and their babies these days.

Does NeoPets still even exist? Like is it still a thing? I know the website and stuff is still up, but do a lot of people still play it?

Wake me up inside