1 May 2015

It's tomorrow, and I'm kind of freaking out right now but not really? What I'm most afraid of is seeing a problem I learned how to do but forgot. I just want an 800. But I'm not good at testing. Or math. I think I can do it though. It's just that so many things could go wrong. My friend is taking it tomorrow too, and she's a lot smarter than me in math, so I guess I feel discouraged. Even though I know that makes shit sense. Like how she does isn't going to have any effect on how I do: mutually exclusive and all that shit right. Whatever. But not really 'whatever'. I will care if I don't get 800. I will care so much. It's so frustrating to be so close, but not make it. Like it could of been but you did some stupid ass error, and it becomes all for nothing. Don't tell me a 750, 760, 770, 780, 790 is "fine". It's not fine okay. I'm so mediocre in everything I do. I just want full score on a stupid standardized test that doesn't even really measure your intelligence. I want it because I don't want to let myself down. I don't want to disappoint my teacher and my parents. I'm going to go sleep. Gotta wake up bright and early tomorrow.