- 10:05 AM
- 0 Comments
18 January 2016
Just got back from Fresno and am waiting at Central YMCA for parents to arrive. I have so much shit tomorrow at school, and I'm so screwed. I'm debating if I should just skip school tomorrow.
Just got back from Fresno and am waiting at Central YMCA for parents to arrive. I have so much shit tomorrow at school, and I'm so screwed. I'm debating if I should just skip school tomorrow.
Man all them bitches saying bye like they never gonna see each other again. Like damn son there is school literally tomorrow??? Is someone moving to Japan or some shit??? Do phones no longer exist???
Haha this guy just said he wants to ditch Calc tomorrow cause he didn't study at all for a quiz, and I'm like that is literally exactly me rn. I wonder if he goes to Monta Vista. But then why would he be a part of Central instead of Northwest. Probably just a coincidence. And an influx of bitchass math teachers that give tests/quizzes the day after break. I don't think breaks are supposed to make me wanna break ur neck...
- 4:42 PM
- 0 Comments
17 January 2016
Okay so I'm at Fresno for my second Y&G conference and across from me sits this girl called Sarah. She is persistently trying to talk to this guy Lucas that's playing Pokemon leaf green, but it is so damn clear that he is annoyed by her. She keeps trying to tell him how to play and shit, and it's like really, painfully obvious that he knows how to play fine. I'm just sitting here cringing like I'm sorry. She always talks about how she gets bullied a lot, and that sucks, but I can't help but get annoyed at how she doesn't realise the reactions of others around her or when she's bothering someone. At this moment Lucas is putting his gameboy away and I hear "Let me play. I can help you beat it." LIKE ARE YOU 5REAL HE LITERALLY REJECTED LETTING YOU PLAY LIKE 50 TIMES PRIOR ALREADY; JUST LET IT GO AND LEAVE THE POOR MAN ALONE. I know it might be hard to believe but you aren't actually the resident Pokemon master here. God damn.
Okay so I'm at Fresno for my second Y&G conference and across from me sits this girl called Sarah. She is persistently trying to talk to this guy Lucas that's playing Pokemon leaf green, but it is so damn clear that he is annoyed by her. She keeps trying to tell him how to play and shit, and it's like really, painfully obvious that he knows how to play fine. I'm just sitting here cringing like I'm sorry. She always talks about how she gets bullied a lot, and that sucks, but I can't help but get annoyed at how she doesn't realise the reactions of others around her or when she's bothering someone. At this moment Lucas is putting his gameboy away and I hear "Let me play. I can help you beat it." LIKE ARE YOU 5REAL HE LITERALLY REJECTED LETTING YOU PLAY LIKE 50 TIMES PRIOR ALREADY; JUST LET IT GO AND LEAVE THE POOR MAN ALONE. I know it might be hard to believe but you aren't actually the resident Pokemon master here. God damn.
- 8:30 AM
- 0 Comments
6 January 2016
I don't really know what I think of math. Usually I just say I hate it with a passion, but sometimes I don't really hate it that much. Usually it depends on how well I understand what we are learning about. For example, I loved the feeling of exhilaration I got when I solved a two column proof in geometry. It's just so satisfying when you stare at a geometric diagram for a while, gears turning, running through all the possible steps, and when you finally arrive to the conclusion, that furious scribbling of all the steps is such an amazing eureka moment. It also helps that I really liked my 8th grade geometry teacher. I had the feeling that I couldn't disappoint him.
I hated math in seventh grade. It literally just didn't make sense to me. For some reason, I was just so bad at factoring quadratics with big numbers (and still kind of am). I didn't understand the concept of simplifying a fraction with quadratics on the top and bottom. Thinking back, I really don't think it should have been that hard. But seriously, how do these people around me just immediately know the factors of a quadratic in literally a second. Do they have it memorized or something? Jesus. But strangely enough, it was just quadratics. I got a really good score on the final test. I'm pretty sure that final test is what convinced my teacher to let me move on to geometry instead of repeating. She said she would write a comment that I didn't do too well for my next teacher. Which is funny because, as I wrote above, I did well in geometry. Honestly, I was surprised she even let me move on. One time, I went into the library to do a retake on a test (oh back in those glorious, lenient days), and it was about simplifying fractions with quadratics or something, and I went in still not understanding how to do them. So I literally just sat down, stared at the paper, tried to do the problems, didn't solve any of the problems, talked to a few friends walking by (library was crowded so teacher didn't see), and left when the bell rang. As I handed the test to my teacher, I was so calm as I said I didn't finish (see: didn't know shit) and just walked out. Those days were so much less stressful. It didn't feel like the weight of the world was on my shoulders.
I also hated math in 9th grade. My teacher just started teaching that year, and he was god awful. I've told the stories of my woes in his class to like all my friends already, so I'm not really in the mood to type it out now. Maybe I'll do it some other day when I'm not using my phone to type the post like I am now. My fingers hurt. But anyway, I somehow managed to scrape through algebra 2/trig with A's. He taught another year. And then he either left because the pressure of everyone's disdain got to him, or he just got fired.
Last year Pre-Calculus was somewhat hard, but it was okay. The teacher was strict, but I liked her. I got a low B first semester and an A second semester.
Now I'm a junior, and oh my god I hate it. I don't even do that much work since I'm lazy, but because I don't do shit, I got hella B's. I'm still waiting for my APUSH grade which is a low B, hoping it won't become a C. I cannot get a C.
I'm taking Calculus BC right now, and it's really such a struggle. Sometimes I get the concept we're learning, but most of the time I'm just like what is going on??? It really sucks because in the first few months of school I was consistently getting A's on all my tests and quizzes, but as the semester went on, it just kept declining. I actually practiced and got an A on the integration test (last test before the final), but I had to get like 99% on the final to get an A overall, which I knew wasn't going to happen. If only I didn't get so many D's on my flashcard quizzes.
- 10:32 PM
- 0 Comments
1 January 2016 (OH MY GOD)
Well I could probably say something inspiring about this year, but honestly, it was pretty much just another 365 days. In fact, this year was especially shitty because of junior year. I mean, as I'm going through the motions, I'm not really thinking that much about how much I'm dying, but sometimes it just hits me like BAM BITCH YOU SUCK. And then I'm like okay. I won't even bother making any new year resolutions because, like most people, I never fulfill them anyway. I am just such an uninspiring, unmotivated person. I hate that. Man you'd think I'd know a god damn thing about motivation, diligence, innovation, etc. since I'm surrounded with all these crazy ass people. But I don't, and that sucks. All I want is to live with 200 dogs, 200 cats, and have a really pretty fish-tank and jellyfish tank. Is that so difficult. In fact, I'm already half ready to just move to some godforsaken land in some desolate place and just chill. Make some YouTube videos. Not have to worry about doing integration by parts or substitution or understanding the graph of the fundamental theorem of calculus. Newton's Law. The double angle formula (could never memorize this damn thing ever since 8th grade). If Lincoln did it for the Union or for the black people (but tbh #Lincoln #MVP). I mean sometimes I care because it's interesting, but a lot of the times it's like why can't I just learn in depth one or two things at a time. Yeah, we're supposed to be well-rounded. We're supposed to explore all our options so we know what we like. But man how am I going to know what I want to do if I practically hate damn well everything since I'm mediocre at damn well everything.
Anyway, why do we feel this strange fulfillment of a new year coming. It's like this big thing. I mean we are literally just incrementing (year++ anybody?) some number that we started using to keep track of things. Now, I'm not saying that years aren't important. Trust me, I'd be the last person to oppose counting years. I mean, imagine it: "Hey Olivia, my man, you wanna go see that new Marvel movie that's coming out in, what was it, 27 months?" What the hell is that? Well, to me, it's more like leaving something that you can never go back to. That might just be because I have trouble leaving stuff behind. Which is why my room is such a mess. I always seem to gain some sentimental attachment to my items. It's really bad. I literally sometimes don't throw away the tags to items after taking them off. I don't throw away the receipts I got from buying stuff in Taiwan because I feel like it'll be a long time before I can ever touch those again. I still have water from Yosemite in the water bottle I used for the 8th grade trip. It tasted so good and fresh (might just be the psychological effect). I keep the outside packaging of items I'll probably only get once. I meticulously open presents because I want to keep the wrapping. It's just this feeling that if I throw something away, then I can never take it back. And I'm uncomfortable with that feeling of no return. Which is really bad. How did I even get on this tangent anyway. Oh right, this is why the new year is such a weird thing for me. I don't really know about other people though. Usually it seems to be a reason to "start fresh" or something. I guess it's good to psych yourself up to try and accomplish something, using the new year as an excuse. Also, I'm going to be stuck trying to change my habit of writing 2015 on all my dates. Happens every year.
Speaking of psych, for the past 2 days, I have been on an intense Psych Netflix marathon. My friend always told me how the show is pretty good and how she used to watch it with her brother, but I never really ended up watching it. I only watched some random episode at her house at one point, and I had no idea what was going on. But after starting from episode one, I actually got pretty attached. Sometimes I wish Shawn wasn't such a bitchass though. And sometimes Gus needs to calm down. Lassie also needs to calm down. Regardless, I love them. Sometimes they say some pretty shady shit though.
Anyway, happy new year (or sad new year since school is starting).
#2k16
Well I could probably say something inspiring about this year, but honestly, it was pretty much just another 365 days. In fact, this year was especially shitty because of junior year. I mean, as I'm going through the motions, I'm not really thinking that much about how much I'm dying, but sometimes it just hits me like BAM BITCH YOU SUCK. And then I'm like okay. I won't even bother making any new year resolutions because, like most people, I never fulfill them anyway. I am just such an uninspiring, unmotivated person. I hate that. Man you'd think I'd know a god damn thing about motivation, diligence, innovation, etc. since I'm surrounded with all these crazy ass people. But I don't, and that sucks. All I want is to live with 200 dogs, 200 cats, and have a really pretty fish-tank and jellyfish tank. Is that so difficult. In fact, I'm already half ready to just move to some godforsaken land in some desolate place and just chill. Make some YouTube videos. Not have to worry about doing integration by parts or substitution or understanding the graph of the fundamental theorem of calculus. Newton's Law. The double angle formula (could never memorize this damn thing ever since 8th grade). If Lincoln did it for the Union or for the black people (but tbh #Lincoln #MVP). I mean sometimes I care because it's interesting, but a lot of the times it's like why can't I just learn in depth one or two things at a time. Yeah, we're supposed to be well-rounded. We're supposed to explore all our options so we know what we like. But man how am I going to know what I want to do if I practically hate damn well everything since I'm mediocre at damn well everything.
Anyway, why do we feel this strange fulfillment of a new year coming. It's like this big thing. I mean we are literally just incrementing (year++ anybody?) some number that we started using to keep track of things. Now, I'm not saying that years aren't important. Trust me, I'd be the last person to oppose counting years. I mean, imagine it: "Hey Olivia, my man, you wanna go see that new Marvel movie that's coming out in, what was it, 27 months?" What the hell is that? Well, to me, it's more like leaving something that you can never go back to. That might just be because I have trouble leaving stuff behind. Which is why my room is such a mess. I always seem to gain some sentimental attachment to my items. It's really bad. I literally sometimes don't throw away the tags to items after taking them off. I don't throw away the receipts I got from buying stuff in Taiwan because I feel like it'll be a long time before I can ever touch those again. I still have water from Yosemite in the water bottle I used for the 8th grade trip. It tasted so good and fresh (might just be the psychological effect). I keep the outside packaging of items I'll probably only get once. I meticulously open presents because I want to keep the wrapping. It's just this feeling that if I throw something away, then I can never take it back. And I'm uncomfortable with that feeling of no return. Which is really bad. How did I even get on this tangent anyway. Oh right, this is why the new year is such a weird thing for me. I don't really know about other people though. Usually it seems to be a reason to "start fresh" or something. I guess it's good to psych yourself up to try and accomplish something, using the new year as an excuse. Also, I'm going to be stuck trying to change my habit of writing 2015 on all my dates. Happens every year.
Speaking of psych, for the past 2 days, I have been on an intense Psych Netflix marathon. My friend always told me how the show is pretty good and how she used to watch it with her brother, but I never really ended up watching it. I only watched some random episode at her house at one point, and I had no idea what was going on. But after starting from episode one, I actually got pretty attached. Sometimes I wish Shawn wasn't such a bitchass though. And sometimes Gus needs to calm down. Lassie also needs to calm down. Regardless, I love them. Sometimes they say some pretty shady shit though.
Anyway, happy new year (or sad new year since school is starting).
#2k16
- 12:32 AM
- 0 Comments
