8 February 2017

I wonder if it's a parent's job to make you feel like you're nothing. I know I'm not pretty already, I know, do you really think I don't. I'm glad you don't think I'm pretty either.

I'm crying so much right now.

She asks why we all ended up the same, locking our doors at her. She asks why I don't ever learn the good parts of others and only copy the bad parts. I never lock my door. I never do it unless I'm mad, so don't give me that bullshit. Why do you never praise me for doing something right. You wait for me to do something wrong to tell me I only ever copy bad things from people. Maybe we all ended up the same because we were all raised by you. Why wouldn't I try to avoid someone who makes me feel like shit. That'd be crazy, not that you'd know.

Keep it together.

She says she's only saying this because she's my mom and no one else will say it. I don't need someone to tell me something I tell myself everyday. I'm only telling you you're crazy because no one else will say it. You don't take that too well. Blood relation isn't an excuse to be a shitty person.

Stop banging on my door. Stop blaming my friends. Just stop.

I wish I could be a dog; all dogs are cute.