8 August 2016

It's college admissions season and with it comes the arduous process of writing a bunch of mind numbing essays that are supposed to showcase myself without them actually knowing myself. I get mixed answers when I search for what the admissions offices want. Sometimes it makes sense, but a lot of the times it doesn't.

People say they don't want super depressing stories about mental disabilities or cancer that don't end on a happy note. Other people say they don't want essays that droll on and on about our achievements. I can understand both of these; they have to read thousands and thousands of essays, and many of them end up being nearly the same. But also I can't because, sometimes, what it sounds like to me is that they want a story that shows growth and a sense of final accomplishment by the end, regardless of the truth.

"Just be yourself."

I find that life isn't perfect with happy endings ready for each challenge we face. Some challenges are still in progress and others end in failure. I suppose they want to know about the challenges we overcame and how that changed us as a person (or something stupid and cliche like that), but challenges we overcame aren't always the most interesting or revealing.

I was challenged by my Calculus class. I ended up not failing. And how did that change me as a person? It didn't. It's just like every other challenging class I've ever had. It sucked.

I suppose my life isn't interesting enough or shitty enough or crazy enough to have significant challenges that could change me. I suppose my personality is a result from many different experiences as well as the biological maturation of my brain, as is most people's. I suppose I have to show all of these things in an essay because maybe I'm expected to exaggerate or paint a picture that isn't the full truth. And I get that.

My mom is crazy. My sister is depressed. How did that change me? I'm not sure. It makes me angry and bitter but also understanding. But isn't that like thousands of other people?

On the other hand, I can understand that it all depends on how you frame your story. Two people can write about eating an apple in vastly different ways. The fact is, apples aren't very interesting, but what about flying apples? That's an exaggeration, but I'm sure my point has been made.

I mentioned before that a friend of mine told me that I should change part of my summer program application essay because it didn't paint me in a good light. In a way that makes sense because first impressions matter. Why would anyone want to paint themselves in a bad light. But it makes me sad because for all they say they want to "get to know us", how well are they really getting to know us if all they see is the side of us that's perfect and positive.

I guess what I'm wondering is what constitutes as too far. When is being real not optimal. I'm sure the answer most people would tell me is that I need to strike a balance between making them like me and not being too f a k e.

If there's one thing I learned from high school, it would probably be from Mr. Carpenter: "Absolute occurrence is irrelevant".