The Blog of Elaine Wang

25 December 2015

Heyyyyy welcome to the obligatory Christmas post. I had written something before, but I forgot to save it so now it's all gone. It couldn't have been too important though. Anyway, I just had my Christmas dinner. It was pretty good. Played some Mario Kart with the relatives. Got a few (like 2) presents. All in all a regular Christmas day. Going outside on Christmas is really strange cause everything seems empty since almost nothing is open.

23 December 2015

Man, deciding to eat popcorn is a real commitment. It could turn out well like usual, but it could also end with you getting that weird shell piece stuck in your throat and debating your existence for the rest of eternity. Like was it all really worth it? Will drinking water fix this? Man I feel like in the future, people should engineer popcorn without the kernel left inside after popped. Honestly nobody asked for this bullshit. Or I could also just stop eating popcorn but nobody asked for that either. I mean kettle corn is literally the best food ever invented on this entire damn planet. Sometimes I still sit down and evaluate how it's all possible.

On a side note, I just watched gameXplain's video of 15 minutes of Fire Emblem if/fates. It looked pretty good. Better than the popcorn stuck in my throat. But I'll still probably change the voices to Japanese because tbh every time one of the characters laugh, I laugh because it sounds so funny.

On another side note, I know if anyone saw what I said, there would be that one (+many) bitchasses that would be all like "oh look, we have a weeb". Like ??? Could people please stop talking like a superior race ??? I mean it's easy for me to just say oh yeah I am a weeb and screw you, but tbh I don't think I am? Tbh I don't think it would matter if I was??? Why is this attitude against other human beings a thing???

I am just so used to anime characters speaking Japanese because that is what they are originally meant to speak. No matter what race the character in the damn anime is, they still look like an anime character and still look kinda Japanese because of that, so it's weird if English comes out of their mouths instead. Also languages that I can't really fully understand sound better because it's harder to recognize shitty acting. But it's mostly the first thing. For example, I would prefer to watch The Avengers in English rather than in a Japanese voiceover because that is what it was meant to originally sound like. If I watched family guy or some shit, I would watch it in English because that is also what it's supposed to sound like. Is that really so difficult to understand??? Also when dubs pronounce things like names wrong. You had one job. I don't think it's really so hard to learn how to pronounce the titular characters' name. Man it's all such a struggle.

Also people who hate on the new FE game because of the petting feature or whatever because it's too "waifu" or "weebish" are hilarious. The game was made in Japan. It is a Japanese game. Like pretty much all your games. Am I crazy to think that something made by Japan would be Japanese. What. I guess I understand if people think it's creepy, but not really because I don't find it creepy. Like you are touching a person's head. They are happy. There isn't even any boob touching. They are pixels on a screen. You are touching face pixels on a screen. It's not even required. It's very simple. Perception is key, but you don't even have to perceive anything.

There was this entire post I read that was ranting about how weeaboos are the worst people on the planet or something. And there were so many, too many, people in the comments who agreed. I could not believe what I read. Some of the stuff was valid, but a lot of it was just so entitled and cringe inducing I could not even believe I was in real life. Like thank you for being a narrow minded douche canoe just so I could reaffirm that narrow minded douche canoes actually exist.

Is my definition of people who are considered weeaboos too weak? Like are they crazier than I think? I don't know because a lot of the times I feel like people label simple things as automatically "weeb"ish. I really love it when people judge others based on one aspect of their character. Everyone in this world is 1D and we all live in a pop-up book written by some shitty author.

God damn.

I am annoyed by overenthusiastic people as well. I'm annoyed by so many things. Does that mean these people are automatically shoved into this one group and labelled the trash of the world. No. I'm not crazy. I'd like to think that other people aren't crazy as well.

Maybe I am reading too much into this.

14 December 2015

So today finals started, and even though I'm pretty damn sure I'm not gonna be able to fix any of my B's, I still feel like I'd regret it if I didn't at least give it a shot. Like McMurphy said, "At least I tried."

Right now I'm mainly talking about the math final that's tomorrow. I was doing the practice tests, and I was just so lost in that feeling of fear and apprehension as I realised that I don't know how to do any of the problems. In the span of a minute, so many thoughts of giving up crossed my mind. I thought, why am I doing any of this. Why does any of this matter if I basically need near perfect on my test to raise my grade to an an A. And as cliché as it sounds, it isn't really about the A anymore. I mean yeah, that would be great since I have 3 Bs right now, but I realise that if I don't figure it out now, I'm going to go through this same grueling process again once the AP test rolls around since the final exam questions are literally from previous AP exams. Not to say that I won't forget it all over break, but like I mentioned earlier, I want to be able to walk out of that class, regardless of what I got, and say, "Well, I tried, didn't I? Goddammit, at least I did that."

It's so hard for me, and I feel like many others, to admit I tried when I fail because that's admitting that I care. That I care and yet it didn't matter because I failed anyway. I mean, shit, we even say we didn't try (whether it's true or not) even when we don't fail. So many times I've heard (and said myself), "oh yeah, I didn't even study." And I think to myself, and what? How great are we to not work hard and still do well? I'll admit that that was me in 9th and 10th grade (+ middle school and still now minus the doing well part), and the affects carry on 'til now. I looked at the people in freshman Biology who worked their asses off, and I scoffed with inner exhilaration because I never studied for freshman Biology. I always did my homework in the beginning of class and finished fast enough to turn it in. I always went in with a blank sheet of paper instead of the assigned cheat-sheet study guide we had to make for each test. I would make it after I finished the test early to get credit. And what? I didn't try, I didn't study, and now, when I really need it, I don't know how. I go home, and I can't study. It's wired into my brain not to, and here I am. I look back and I wish I could be like those people who have that motivation to try. I know I could also gain that mindset if I worked at it, but it just never ends up happening.

13 December 2015

So a few posts back I mentioned how I felt awkward on the bus to Fresno and that I didn't want to force some poor sop to sit next to me because there were no more seats left. I also happened to mention that I wanted to sit next to a person I could sleep on. Well it turns out that the girl who ended up sitting next to me actually ended up falling asleep on me. So I was stuck in random positions for long periods of time. I mean, I would have felt bad if I moved cause she logically would have probably thought that I didn't appreciate her intrusion. But I guess I didn't really care.

It was strange because after we got there, I was trying to wake her up but she just would not budge. When she finally did wake up, she just got up and we part ways as if nothing even happened. I was kind of thinking that she could have at least said thanks (I mean she fell asleep on me for hours without asking), but I'm sure she felt weird about it as well. Some things should just be left as is. Those silent services and interactions we have.